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Marriage is a Partnership But It’s Not 50/50

June 4, 2024

Hey Clawson Family!


Song: 





Scripture:


Mark 10:8-9 New Living Translation


8 and the two are united into one.’[a] Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”


Devotional:


Marriage can be a little bit challenging. Why is that? What makes marriage so challenging? Why do 50% of marriages end in divorce, and why are 1 out of 4 people married and not happy in their marriage?


 At Clawson, we say this statement all the time, “Your expectation affects your experience. One of the reasons we find marriage so challenging is because we typically go into this thing thinking about what we are getting, and not what we should be giving. Then when we are not getting what we expected, problems arise. 


We have unrealistic expectations of our spouse, how we feel they should be in the marriage, and no expectations for ourselves.


But there is hope! No matter what challenges we have faced in the past, or are facing right now it is possible to be married and happy it just takes work and training. 


One of the expectations that challenge us when we get married is we hear growing up that marriage is 50/50. So then in our minds, we make up what that looks like. Or we use other people's marriages as a guide in what it looks like to have a 50/50 relationship.


He is going to go to work and be the breadwinner, she is going to be a stay-at-home mom, and since she is not at work she will clean the house. 


Or she will work and be the breadwinner, and he will be responsible for the home and children and such. In our minds, we attempt to divide everything up 50/50.


She washes the dishes, he puts them up, she does the laundry, he takes out the trash, she cooks the food, and he makes sure the oils get changed in the car. Let’s divide things 50/50. The problem is that your partner will never get their 50% right all the time and then you have an argument on your hands.


I do all the stuff I am supposed to be doing and you never cook anymore, and this house looks terrible, and so on. So if there is this 50/50 expectation you can know that mindset will cause problems. Because all this does is give you ammunition to use against your spouse when they are not holding up to their side of the deal.


That is not marriage, that is a picture of what it looks like to have a roommate and split the tasks in the house.


Marriage is a partnership. Marriage is about serving each other. Some days it is 50/50 but to be honest there are days when maybe we only have 10% in us and on those days we need 90% from our spouse. And some days our spouse only has 20% left in them so they need  80% from us… and because we are one and our role is to serve each other we are not going to hold things against each other because we felt like the other person should be doing it!  We will take up each other's slack when needed because that is what it looks like to be in a marriage. 


What does it look like to be one? We become one when our goal for each other is to be what the other one needs us to be. When we become one, instead of the challenges of marriage becoming an argument that you have… the challenges wind up being something that makes your marriage stronger because together as one you deal with and overcome the challenges. 



Journal:


Read James 4:17 Write in your journal what makes you feel pursued. How does this impact the way you pursue others? What is some good you ought to do to pursue a godly marriage? Is anything holding you back?


Training:


Father


 Thank You for always showing us unconditional and extravagant love. Align our hearts with Yours so we can love others better. Holy Spirit, help us to be faithful in always pursuing a godly marriage.


In Jesus name, Amen


If you’re married, ask your spouse today what makes them feel loved, then do it.




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